the daily talk of happenings, observances, and thoughts through the mind and the eyes of a girl behind a computer screen somewhere in atlanta.
name: casey harper
"22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit."
• ask me something
Are you going to Bonnaroo? Do you like indie folk music? Did you nod your head to at least one of these questions??
My band, Low Tree Grow Tall, is trying to play at Bonnaroo and we need you to VOTE for us!!! Click THIS LINK and search ‘Low Tree Grow Tall’ and vote!
You can vote every 60 seconds! *WOO HOO*
Please reblog this and share with your friends! :)
We are 153rd in the ranks! Keep on voting! We might just release something special for you guys! Voting ends April 24th. You can vote once a day! ALRIGHTTT!
8:25 pm • 12 April 2013 • 16 notes • View comments
the time has come to reclaim my identity and take back the life the enemy was trying to steal. here’s to the easter season and reaffirming my choice of new life.
10:28 pm • 31 March 2013 • View comments
today, as i was driving home from chick-fil-a, where i treated myself to nasty fastfood that i instantly regretted, i soaked in the solitude of driving down n decatur into the sunset. it sounds cheesy and awfully dramatic, but it was such a peaceful moment.
lately, i’ve been giving into the many lies i hear in a day.
“you’re not beautiful.”
“you’re not a godly woman.”
“you’re a child.”
it hasn’t been a conscious decision. its like my mind was saying yes to all of these lies behind my back.
on my drive home, i realized i’ve been compromising and allowing myself to think a way that i know better not to. i was praying i would not have to reach a rock bottom in order to realize my true need for god. i was praying that i can just bounce back and rebuke the lies i’ve believed and just keep moving. little did i know, i was already there.
it didn’t sink in until a few hours later. i had called my bandmate and best friend to discuss a weekend tour we’re planning. after all was planned and discussed, i thought the conversation was over, but melanie wanted to delve into heart matters. i thank god she did.
melanie has experienced the lords presence these past few days. its apparent. the way she talks, the things she says, the tone of her voice. the fruits of his spirit are pouring out of her. as i tried my best to celebrate her positive week, i felt a heaviness on my heart. i felt the push that being in the valley feels like. the words “how are you?” came out of her mouth, and i burst at the seams.
i hadn’t known it, but i was carrying a burden so heavy, i was too exhausted to even allow someone else to help carry it with me. there was so much i needed to sort through and uncover. i just felt like i was revealing a handfull of broken glass to her and wanting nothing more than for my cup to be fixed. i had hit the bottom and i knew there was work to be done in me.
in this moment, after wiping away tears and understanding i’ve been lied to, i feel hurt. i’m hurting and i’m slightly paralyzed. i just want to curl up in a ball and wait for the lord to meet with me and to comfort me.
why does the enemy have such a hold on my heart? why do i so easily allow him to make himself at home? why am i so easily tricked into thinking poorly of myself?
this weekend is dedicated to reentering and refocusing my attention on the lord and who he is and who he has made me to be. i am a woman of god, not because i have chosen to become one, but because that is what god made me. it is nothing i can run from or deny in myself. i am his and he is mine.
11:39 pm • 29 March 2013 • View comments
everyone struggles. i’m slowly learning this lesson, and the more realizations i have, the more normal i feel. or maybe its the other way around. i feel more alone knowing everyone is struggling with different things. perhaps it takes meeting someone who is in the same boat, rowing against the same currents.
my biggest struggle is a lie. it replays in my head constantly. its the lie that i am not a woman - that i am a child and a little girl and will never be anything more. no one respects me, no one listens to my opinion, and no one gives me any credit because i am young and naive and haven’t experienced enough to be called a woman of god. i don’t act the right way that a woman of god should. i am not as gentle or caring or mature as i should be to be called a woman of god. i fall short of the title.
all of thats a lie.
even typing the phrase ‘all thats a lie’ is hard. its got such a hold on my heart. i’ve heard it so many times, i catch myself believing that its true.
so i surrender. i lift up my short comings. i want to dropkick all of my false truths. i want a clean heart with space for the lord to grow me and further develop this woman he has made me to be.
10:05 pm • 17 March 2013 • View comments
almost every time i write a song about someone, i wonder if anyone has written a song about me. if so, i think i’d like to hear it. even if it was a negative song. i’d want to know the inner workings of someone’s heart towards mine, just like i want those who i’ve written songs about to know that these songs are about them.
maybe one day i’ll make an album of all the songs i wrote about other folks and name each tune the name of the person its written about. that would be an adventure.
9:51 pm • 9 February 2013 • View comments
i don’t want to guess. i don’t want to be over analytical and try and read in to things that aren’t meant to be read into. i don’t want to be wondering where his heart is in regard to his attraction to me. i don’t want to constantly be worrying about my next move or my next words. i don’t want to worry about what i’m going to wear or how i’m going to look. i don’t want to be anxious or nervous.
i want to be honored, cared for, and considered. i want to be comfortable as myself and i want to feel that he is comfortable with me too.
i feel like i might finally have that and i am going to lose it.
10:56 pm • 29 January 2013 • View comments
the more i realize just how much room i have to grow, the easier it is to be patient for you. i want to be the best woman i can be for you. i want to be a good wife, mother, and friend, and i’m taking the time i have now to learn about all of those things.
lately, life has been good. i’m on a steady stroll down a familiar street of contentment and i’m embracing the season i am in. i’m catching snowflakes rather than trying to sunbathe in the snow, but i’m still pretty ecstatic for the blossoms of spring time.
i had a dream the other night where you and i went on a road trip and sang songs in the car and stopped at old gas stations for silly souvenirs. i’m so excited to explore with you by my side. its hard to adventure alone, so i’m saving all of my big adventures for us.
maybe one day we’ll turn our living room into a huge fort with sheets and clothespins and string lights. we’ll make music and cuddle and chat about the times when i’d write you notes, but didn’t even know your name.
just wait. your adventurers heart will be awakened even further one day. i hear marriage is one hell of a journey.
your future love
1:28 am • 27 January 2013 • View comments
: My Bucket List From Junior Year
Everything in bold means that I’ve already done it.
Everything italicized means i don’t want to do it anymore…
- Make an entire outfit with a sewing machine
- Fall in love with someone
- Work at TOMS HQ
- Make a domino train all around the first floor of my house
- Own a coffee shop
- Sell my very first print of a photo I’ve taken
- Make a bird house
- Record an original album
- Have a casual friendship with a local homeless person
- Kiss at the top of a ferris wheel
- Go to Coney Island
- Ride on Route 101
- Eat everything on the Chick-Fil-A menu (in separate sittings)
- Have my first cup of coffee
- Road trip to Charleston
- Get a tattoo for my mom
- Make a family dinner
- See the Avett Brothers in concert
- Dye my hair a crazy color
- Visit an old friend in Ohio
- Have a very long conversation with a complete stranger
- Find a lost dog and give it back to its owner
- Ride a ski lift
- Solve a Rubix Cube
- Pet a monkey
- Get married
- Kiss in the rain
- Travel past the Mississippi River
- Pet a zebra
- Play poker
- Go a whole day without sleeping in school
- Go a whole week without sleeping in school (never accomplished that one… oh well)
- Find a $20 bill (I put it in the lost and found)
- Get pied in the face
- Have a food fight
- Go to a Braves game
- Climb a light tower
- Win a big stuffed animal at a carnival
- Go to Cedar Point
- Drop a watermelon off of a rooftop
- Give 20 shoe boxes to Operation Christmas Child
- Visit Ethiopia
- Visit Argentina
- Knit a pair of socks
- Perform in front of 100 people
- Read the entire bible
- Go on a TOMS shoe drop
- Swim in the Atlantic
- Go out of the country
- Go to Disney LAND
- Go to Australia
- Own a home
- Go to college
- Learn to juggle 3 things at once
- Sing in a full band
- Host on a benefit concert
- Have a real picnic
- Learn how to make Outback’s mac and cheese
- Sponsor a Compassion child
- Go camping for more than just one night
- Visit a Renaissance fair
- See the Mona Lisa
- Write a children’s book
- Hot air ballooning
- Scuba diving
- Write a journal for 5 years
- Go rock climbing (real rock climbing)
- Visit the Grand Canyon
- Learn how to drive a manual… well
- Milk a cow
- Learn to whistle with my fingers
- Ride in helicopter
- Have a Wikipedia page
- Learn archery
- Watch a drive-in movie
2:56 am • 19 January 2013 • 8 notes • View comments
here’s to you
to the broke down beat around 50 hour a week working person, here’s to you. to the 2 job never-gets-a-break and works overtime employee, here’s to you. to the heavy eyed trying to make it through sleepless nights, here’s to you. to the hurting, the wounded, and the broken that are searching for healing, here’s to you.
you are doing so well. you are working so hard. you are conquering this life, even though it doesn’t feel like it.
let out your battle cry!!! you’ve got songs of victory to sing.
know that every ounce of pain is gain for the perseverant heart. remember that someone before you has won the fight and the path is already marked for you to walk.
break the chains of being enslaved to the things you hate and the forsaking twists of inescapable rejection.
you are free.
6:08 pm • 11 January 2013 • View comments
you’re dancing with me
there are some things i will never be able to completely grieve. there are nights spent untying years of hurt and sorrow that have tangled up in my stomach. there are times where all i can do is stare at a picture and try to soak up every last detail to allow it to come to life in my mind.
i’m slowly forgetting her voice, her touch, her smell. i’m forgetting the mornings she’d make me breakfast before school and the tight hugs waiting for me after. i’m forgetting the movie dates and shopping trips. i’m forgetting how i used to curl up next to her in her bed to watch the newest home makeover show on TLC. silly things my brain forgets, but it feels like they’re all i have left.
now a days, i cry for the empty chair at my wedding. i cry as soon as i get a whiff of lavender. i ache at the thought of mothers all around the world losing their lives and leaving children behind. i ache for those children.
i sing songs for her-they remind me of the joy she invited me into. i dance alone knowing that outside of time we’re dancing together.
i’m hesitant to post something with this much emotion. it seems to be childish and juvenile, but i wrote this for someone. i don’t know your name or your circumstance, but i know you needed to read this. you needed to be reassured that you’re never alone in your grieving. i just have a feeling. i hope this resonates with you.
10:31 pm • 9 January 2013 • 9 notes • View comments